Never Meant To Hurt You
by propertyofWCKD
Summary: When Loki, in good will, tries to reveal the truth about Tony Stark's life to the team because the idiot won't do it himself, everything turns into a tragic situation. Pre-Slash StevexTony. This is my first fanfic, please be kind. :D
1. Shut Off The Lights

It's just a normal morning day in the Avengers Tower, well, as normal as it can be with this dysfunctional family.

In the dysfunctional livingroom, Thor was eating poptarts, throwing the wrapping on the floor each time when finishing, demanding for another.

Clint was in his usual 'imma-crawl-in-those-vent-pipes-and-piss-everyone-off-by-dropping-stuff-on-their-heads' mode.

Natasha was sitting calm on the couch, watching TV, occasionally throwing a glance at Clint.

Bruce was making coffee, the 20th cup might I say "damn Tony and his coffee addiction" and speaking of Tony, well, he was having his usual fight with Steve.

And Loki… this guy was up to no good, his pranks were a nightmare, because with him bad turns to worse, especially when he doesn't really want to play a prank, but mostly make a point or statement about someone, and today's victims were Tony Stark and Steve Rogers aka Iron Man and Captain America, who were at each others throats, but no one was paying them attention because, this is normal when it comes to our favourite spandex and metal duo.

And Pepper was due to come soon to officially meet the super boy band.

But today, will be a special day, because our beloved brother and daddy issues Asguardian stuck his tail in the business.

"You know Stark, I don't know how Howard was your father, because you're nothing like him, no wonder he neglected you, you're a disappointment."

As Steve finished this line, everyone in the room froze, because it never got to the point where Howard would be brought up in the conversation, at least not in such a manner.

A giggle was heard in the far corner of the room but no one paid attention to it.

Tony could feel his blood run cold at those words, how dare he talk like that, when he knew nothing!

"You know Rogers, you're so full of shit, talking like you know everything when you clearly don't, but hey, everything is ok because you're Captain fucking America and you're a good guy!" he spat at him.

Hands rubbing against each other in excitement were heard, but again, no one paid attention.

"Oh Stark, but I do know, I know for a fact that you are a selfish person, so full of yourself, a nascissistic bastard, who cannot go on without making everything about yourself." Steve said, feeling the anger and annoyance level rising.

"Isn't that pathetic Stark, you really are nothing without the suits, and don't throw me the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, you are a sorry excuse of a human being. You want to be a 'hero' so much that you made a hole in your chest so you could power the suits! I wonder what you will do without the arc reactor, without the suits!"

As Steve finished the rant, he moved towards Tony fast, the latter being frozen on the spot, all colour drained from his face, as he watched Steve shove his hand in the arc reactor and ripping it out.

The silence was horrible, everyone with their eyes big, frozen on Tony. He started to fall, darkness rapidly surrounding him, the last thought he had was of that night in Malibu mansion, and Obadiah Stane ripping his arc reactor out.

And in that moment an anguish scream and a mad laugh were heard.

"TONY!"


	2. Never Jugde A Past By It's Present

"TONY!"

Pepper yelled as she entered the living room, a horror scene happening in front of her eyes. Everyone turned to her, not expecting her to arrive so early.

She rushed to Tony, pushing Steve aside in the process and rapidly started to connect the arc reactor back to him. As the reactor started to glow again, Tony shot up, breathing fast and in big gulps, a hand protectively help over the arc, as he started to shake heavely muttering

"He took it out Pep, he took it out" over and over again until he passed out in Pepper's arms.

Steve watched this scene in complete horror, his mind clearing from whatever rage he had experienced before.

"What the hell was that?!" He said loudly to Pepper.

Pepper turned to him, eyes red and puffy from crying, and she yelled

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? I heard you didn't like Tony very much, BUT TRYING TO KILL HIM?"

Pepper stopped her rant, as the look of utter devastation and confusion that took over Steve and the team

"You-you guys didn't know..? W-what did you guys think the reactor was for?" she asking in a small voice.

Natasha was the only one who was able to find her voice, and said

"In Tony's file it said it powers the suits, nothing else."

At this, Pepper started to laugh, which turned into heavy sobbing

"Tony, you idiot! Of course you hacked into SHIELD and changed your file, you bloody idiot!"

Pepper got herself together and said

"Help me get him on the couch, he will be out for a while, it's time for a story, a long one, hope you have a few hours at your disposal." Steve, shaking, help Pepper put Tony on the couch, and sat himself on a nearby chair.

"Ayy isn't this all nice and dandy, you should thank me." Loki's voice popped out of nowhere surprising everyone. "What?" Thor asked in a small voice, completely unusual for his loud, normal self.

"Well brother, someone had to take action, one, Stark here would had never revealed willingly the truth about his life, two, you are a sorry bunch who haven't realized, after 5 months of living together, that the Anthony Stark you think you know, is a mask, a mask perfected since the age of 8."

"So i did the same thing I did on the helicarrier in NY 5 months ago, I sent some angry vibes to Mr. America here, and amplified emotions he already had, which made him say and do things he wouldn't do normaly."

"You almost got him killed!" Pepper screamed.

"No dearie, I didn't, I knew you were very close by, and that everything will be alright, desperate situations call for desperate measures." And with this being said, Loki vanished.

After this, everyone turned to Tony, who's head was on Pepper's lap. "Ok" Pepper said shaking "You know Tony was held captive in Afghanistan?" The team nodded slowly at this. "Do you know what happened there?" They shacked their heads in a no fashion.

"Tony will kill me for this but there no other choice left." Pepper muttered.

"Until 4 years ago, Stark Industries was making weapons. When Tony when to Afghanistan, to demonstrate a jericho missile test, he and the soldiers that were with him were attacked by a group of terrorists, called The Ten Rings."

"Everyone got killed, Tony rushed out of the car he was in, only for a Stark Industries bomb to explode near him."

At this everyone lost their breath, and Steve put his head down in shame, tears starting to build up in his eyes. Pepper continued.

"The result of the explosion, a lot of shrapnel entered his chest, rapidly making their way to his heart. The terrorists, in order to postpone the shrapnel from reaching his heart, c-cut him o-open, with no anesthetic at their disposal, and hooked him to a car battery."

Steve put his head in his hands, trembling and he muttered

"What have I done, what have I done, I never meant to hurt you" as the tears finally escaped his eyes.

The rest of the team were shocked, all words stuck in their throats, Clint was close to tears, Natasha, had an emotional free expression but her eyes gave it all away, Bruce was having a hard time not Hulking out, Thor was strangely and frighteningly quiet. Pepper feeling sorry for them, moved on.

"In order for his heart to work, and keep the shrapnel from entering his heart, he needs the arc reactor, the fact that it also powers the suits it's a bonus." She said in a soft voice.

Steve raised his head, with a look of total devastation, anguish and guilt, asked

"Why.. when Tony woke up, reacted as if it happened again..?" His eyes betrayed the fact that he didn't want to know, but it was needed to be said.

"Obadiah Stane, friend of Tony and Howard, partner in heading the Stark Industry, turned out to be the man that paid The Ten Rings to kill Tony. When that didn't work, Stane personally injected with a paralysis serum, and Tony had to watch, as Stane took out his reactor, as he couldn't move."

As Pepper finished that line, Tony started to wake up, eyes darting to Steve, complete, horror, betrayal, and slight fear flashing in his eyes, and tried to back away into Pepper as much possible, making Steve flinch as he ran out of the room.


	3. Never Know What You Have Until It's Gone

Everyone besides Tony watched surprised as Steve rushed out the room like everything was on fire.

Tony unconsciously released a breath he didn't know he was holding. He slowly raised from Pepper's lap and sat on the couch warily as the team looked at him like he could break any minute, and he hated that, so much.

It took everything he had not to snap at everyone and tell them to shove their pity looks somewhere. He stood up only to be stopped by Pepper's hand

"Tony, we need to talk about this."

"No Pep, no we don't, there's nothing to talk about." And with that he left the room, went to his workshop, and locked it, no one was allowed to enter, anyone.

It went like this for about a week, Tony wasn't really starving himself, remembered to take care of himself, only because Pepper was there.

The team, well, they tried to move on but they all had this nagging feeling that this was just the beginning and that everything was going into the worse direction.

All this time no one saw Steve, he made a "pact" with JARVIS, in which the AI would tell him where the team is at what time, so he could avoid them, he spent most of his time in the Gym, when no one was around, running down the streets on NYC, and in his room, drawing.

Never once, in his life, especially since he arrived in the 21st century, had he felt like the worst human being, like he really didn't belong here. He would lie to himself if he didn't admit that the nightmares returned, and sometimes even woke up crying. Every day, every second, his mind was in a constant "what have I done" mode. He didn't eat as much, couldn't stomach anything, didn't sleep.

When the team could get a glimpse of him in the hallways before slipping away, they could see really bad eye bags, hair messy, shoulders foreword, walking with no life in him.

The team tried to talk with JARVIS into getting the genius out of his workshop, or open the doors, but Tony made it so he was not able to do anything without his approval, if Tony didn't say yes, JARVIS was powerless.

It went on for 2 months. The dysfunctional family could only breathe slightly because they had no missions in this period of time, it was a fact that all this was bad for the team. Really bad.

One day, at 6am, it so happened that Tony had slipped from his workshop to get coffee, and in that moment, Steve exited the elevator, coming back from an all night run in the city. They stood there, frozen, eyes locking, for a few minutes, or was it hours? No one will know.

Tony was close to getting an asthma attack (never had he thought he could be close to one) and Steve, he was close to tears, heart hammering in his chest. Before it even crossed Steve's mind to say something, Tony snapped out of his trance, slipping (more like running for his life) past the patriot, to his workshop.

That was such a slap to the face for the blonde, the he felt like crying, sobbing. And sobbed he did.

Steve could not understand why Tony's behavior was affecting him so, it was like the love of your life honestly told you to die.

Tony didn't blame Steve, he really didn't, he knew Loki was the cause of all it. But he also knew that what all Loki did was amplify emotions that already existed. Well, more like 200% amplified, but those emotions, no matter how dormant, they were real.

He tried, he really tried talking to Steve, that encounter in the hallway, he stood there so long because he eventually wanted to sort things out, but after not seeing Steve for 2 months, that when he actually saw him, all he could see was Obadiah and Steve ripping out his reactor. And it hurt him, a lot, because despite their fights, he trusted Steve, with his life (not that he told anyone that), he was the most in sync with the spandex man, it gotten to a point where the team (Clint mostly) started calling them the Mother and Father of the Avengers. And that didn't bother him, and that's saying a lot.

5 months in, Steve couldn't handle it anymore, so he went down to the workshop, and banged his fist in the door

"Tony? Come one Tony, we really need to talk about this, it's bad for the team!"

Tony froze, never in his life had he expected Steve to come down there. "Save it Captain." And he pushed the mute button.

"I'm sorry sir, but Mr. Stark has muted everything, he is no longer able to hear you." JARVIS said sadly.

Steve sighed. "JARVIS, tell Tony I'm staying here till he decides to talk." He said in a small voice.

"Message delivered sir, Mr. Stark said 'good luck with that'."

Steve stood there for a week, the team didn't say anything about it, but they brought him food every day, but he didn't eat it all the time, and when he did, only a little, he couldn't stomach anything.

At a point, guilt slowly creeping into Tony, he unmuted everything, after JARVIS told him that Steve sometimes muttered, talked to Tony even though he knew he couldn't be heard. Not that he let Steve know he did that.

One week and a half in, Steve broke, literally. This was too much for him.

"I'm sorry Tony, so sorry." He whispered, voice cracking.

Tony stopped what he was doing, knowing Steve would continue, even though the idiot had no idea Tony could actually hear him now.

"I read your file, about Howard, I'm so sorry for comparing him to you, belittle you so much. I just wish you knew the Howard Stark I knew." Cue a few tears.

"I'm a douchebag, became the one thing I hated most, a bully." He pressed his hands to his face and whispered, never more broken as he is now, voice getting louder and he kept repeating it till his voice cracked

"I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt you, I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU!" and he broke in a fit of crying and shaking.

Tony never thought there could be someone who could reduce him to tears, not even Pepper could do that, when they were together, and he was, Steve fucking Rogers, Captain fucking America, making him spill tears.

Tony turned his head around, looking at the workshop door, looking at it for about 10 minutes, and stood up.


	4. Amends And Beating Hearts

Tony stood up and made its way to the now open workshop doors.

Right outside the doors, on the left, there stood on the floor, knees up to his chest, face in hands, a shaking Steve.

'Idiot didn't even hear me as I came out and he looks so thin, how it that even possible for the super soldier' thought Tony sadly.

He slowly sat down next to Steve, resting his head on the glass wall of the workshop, looking ahead.

"I reduced Captain America to a pile of tears and guilt, the American citizens would sue my ass if they found out." Tony said softly.

Steve almost jumped through the roof, wiping his head in Tony's direction, a look of sadness, guilt and surprise showing.

"T-tony?" He stuttered.

"I even make you stutter, well, I'm definitely going to Hell now." Tony chuckled.

"H-how.. w-why.. I mean.. you c-came out.."

Steve tried to get voice right, but after so much crying he couldn't.

"Let's just say your speech earlier touched a heart string."

"You h-heard?" Steve's voice raised an octave.

"B-but-"

"I unmuted everything a while ago, told JARVIS to not tell you that."

"O-oh."

Steve turned his head away from Tony, not knowing what to say next or do, eyes darting everywhere.

Tony finally looked at Steve, only to have his breath leave his lungs.

Steve looked awful, not seeing his face in 5 months, it was shocking.

Steve's eyes were puffy, red, paired with heavy eye bags, face sunken in showing that he neglected food, skin pale as snow. Guilt and sorrow hit Tony like a brick wall.

"I'm sorry, for shutting you out. I was being a coward." He whispered.

"What?" Steve almost panicked.

"No! It's not your fault, it's-"

"Don't you dare say it's your fault Rogers. It was Loki."

"B-but, the emotions behi-"

"Don't! Don't Steve." Tony said looking at the the blue eyed angel. 'wait what?'

"I was being a bitch 'Steve made a face at the language, making Tony lightly chuckle' always insulting you, because of Howard. It's not like I even tried to tell how what kind of person he was towards me."

He said, while looking straight into Steve's eyes. 'why haven't I noticed before the beauty that is Steve's eyes?' Tony thought numbly.

"Anyway, let's move on, this isn't doing good for the team, we're lucky there were no missions all this time." Tony said, standing up and reaching a hand for Steve to take.

He reached out, taking in the hand and standing up, both men holding for a second more than necessary while both thinking 'warm' before releasing.

"Let's get you some food." Tony said, feeling fuzzy for some reason, while gently smiling. Steve smiled back, walking after Tony towards the kitchen.

A week has passed and things were staring to get better, it wasn't as before, even though Steve and Tony made amends, that fight did strain their friendship. Things were still a little awkward, mostly because of the fuzzy feeling both got in their stomach whenever they saw each other.

If there's one thing they learned about each other in this fight, is that they both are much more vulnerable than they let on, leaving room for a protectiveness to grow between our favourite spandex and metal duo.

And protectiveness was not the only thing to start growing between the two, for the world is a strange place, where there is a very fine line between love and hate, and you might likely fall for the unlikely person.

Steve was the first to realize, as he sat outside the workshop door, waiting for Tony to get out, that what he might feel for the genius, was more than friendship allowed.

Tony realized it, in one morning, when, as he entered the kitchen, Steve was out on the balcony, watching the sunrise. The way the sunrays hit his face, making him loose his breath, and the heart beating rate to pick up.

But of course, that the idiots didn't act on it, both thinking that they were not worth for the other, and that there was no way it was mutual. But God damn, it was obvious. So obvious that Clint saw it. Even Thor!

The team decided, that if this would keep up, they would take matters in their own hands. Lucky for them, that would not be necessary.

THE END.

* * *

(A/N)

I haven't expected so many people to read my fanfic (over 1,5k) it means a hella to me, this being my first fic ever it got me very happy and i was in a very good mood these days, cannot thank you enough for it. ^^

It would mean even more if you guys could review and tell me your thoughts, it's ok even if the review if negative, constructive criticism is always welcomed, it helps with knowing if i'm remorly good at this stuff, and apologies for such short chapters, i'm still sort of unable to make them longer, still new to the whole writing fics bussiness.

I kinda had plans for a 5th and maybe a 6th chapter, but they are just ideas, i have no idea how to make a decent chapter that doesn't have 3 words, i might write an epilogue someday. I also kinda like the ending in chap 4 anyway. x

-Kaya


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